Goals..... We all need them

I've gone through most of my life hiding from life. I am finished hiding though. It is time to put the past where it belongs..... in the past and it is high time to move forward to the future no matter where it takes me.....

In order to move forward in my life I have made a few goals for myself:

1. Get out of the house more. I am going to start walking (rolling) each day with my sister and my dog. I am also going to find other things to do outside of the house as well. Not sure what yet but I will find something!

2. Save money to go on a trip. I would like to go to Ireland. So I have to start saving now! I would like to see a friend who lives there as well. Hopefully things will work out but I won't find out if I don't at least try. :)

3. Have fun! I haven't had a lot of fun in my life so I am going to work at having more fun in my life. Change my attitude and not always be such a downer. Nobody wants to be around a Debbie Downer.

4. Stand up for myself more. Realize that what I think & feel does matter.

These are just the beginning and the most important goals I have set for now. I'm sure I will have more later. :)

Minx

He who angers you Conquers you - Elizabeth Kenny

New Beginnings

Life is funny sometimes ya know? You begin something with a set goal in mind but as time passes it becomes something totally different. Sometimes it is something good and other times not so good. That is what happened between he and I.

In the beginning it was good between him and I. He was easy to talk to and I opened up to him quite easily. Before long I wanted more and he seemed to want the same. He was up front with what he wanted. I closed my eyes to the warning signals because I wanted to be with him so badly.

I went along with whatever he wanted even though deep in my heart I knew that it wasn't what I really wanted but I was afraid to tell him because I didn't want him to go away. I didn't think I could bear it if he went away. I was wrong about that though because I did bear it. Only it was I that went away.

I couldn't bear sharing him anymore. I needed his attention and he wasn't giving it to me. He kept telling me to be patient but it had been nearly three years. How much more patient was he expecting me to be. There was no room for me in his world. No matter how much I begged he wouldn't let me in. By the end of the relationship I had buried my feelings and what I had wanted so deep that all I was feeling was depression and loneliness. Until one day I told him that I thought we should just be friends instead of in a "romantic" relationship. Besides it's hard to be romantic with a guy when all they do is turn you down every time you try something tho that was just a small part of the whole problem.

We haven't been together for five months now. I still miss him a bit but it gets easier every day. He decided to totally disappear from my life even though he promised we would still be friends but I guess that is for the best. So yeah I went into this with a totally hopeful attitude for it being a long term relationship to realizing that it wasn't going to be what I wanted. That's life for you. :)

It's time to start over..... It's time for new beginnings :)

Changes

It seems like it has been ages since I have blogged. But I have been around. I've just been reading the blogs that I like. I just haven't felt like writing about my life and thoughts.

But now I feel that urge again....... This is just the beginning so stay tuned!