New Beginnings

Life is funny sometimes ya know? You begin something with a set goal in mind but as time passes it becomes something totally different. Sometimes it is something good and other times not so good. That is what happened between he and I.

In the beginning it was good between him and I. He was easy to talk to and I opened up to him quite easily. Before long I wanted more and he seemed to want the same. He was up front with what he wanted. I closed my eyes to the warning signals because I wanted to be with him so badly.

I went along with whatever he wanted even though deep in my heart I knew that it wasn't what I really wanted but I was afraid to tell him because I didn't want him to go away. I didn't think I could bear it if he went away. I was wrong about that though because I did bear it. Only it was I that went away.

I couldn't bear sharing him anymore. I needed his attention and he wasn't giving it to me. He kept telling me to be patient but it had been nearly three years. How much more patient was he expecting me to be. There was no room for me in his world. No matter how much I begged he wouldn't let me in. By the end of the relationship I had buried my feelings and what I had wanted so deep that all I was feeling was depression and loneliness. Until one day I told him that I thought we should just be friends instead of in a "romantic" relationship. Besides it's hard to be romantic with a guy when all they do is turn you down every time you try something tho that was just a small part of the whole problem.

We haven't been together for five months now. I still miss him a bit but it gets easier every day. He decided to totally disappear from my life even though he promised we would still be friends but I guess that is for the best. So yeah I went into this with a totally hopeful attitude for it being a long term relationship to realizing that it wasn't going to be what I wanted. That's life for you. :)

It's time to start over..... It's time for new beginnings :)